The Asymptotic Faery - The Writings of Allyson N. Jason

I was given a sign earlier today while I was out shopping in Pavilions. A very peculiar one that rang loud and clear.

I decided to do some shopping for dinner later but the first errand on my list was to close out a storage account at Public Storage. My family had the account for a year and never made use of it. I helped to orchestrate getting the account earlier on so the account was created in my name. It was a complete waste of money and we needed to stop the automatic monthly payments.

It was rather simple to close the account. I had been procrastinating on closing it for some time. I notoriously hate red tape although I know that the sooner things are dealt with, the better. They are out of your way!

Once going in, I expected to wait around and fill out paperwork but all I had to do was take off my lock and head back to the rental office to get a closed account receipt. Easy as pie and as a result, my day started off on a good note. I just love mentally checking things off on a to-do list. …when I get around to doing this.

Anyway, as I drove off the lot, I immediately developed a strong craving for low or non-fat frozen yogurt, but I didn’t know of any places nearby that sold it and I certainly didn’t feel like driving around aimlessly trying to find such a place. But on the way to the supermarket, I passed by an El Pollo Loco. I remembered that most of the franchises offered Fosters Freeze frozen desserts on a side menu, so I assumed that they sold frozen yogurt. I discovered that they didn’t.

The options were limited to ice cream servings loaded with options of rich sugary toppings and condiments, in either a cone or a cup. I knew I had to pass. Yesterday at Mrs. Fields (aka The Crack House), after picking up my reserved copy of Grand Theft Auto IV, I indulged on a white chocolate macadamia nut cookie topped with a generous amount of pink buttercream icing, I must say that as a bonafide food addict and foodie, I am learning how to balance and not let my obsessions take over. I promptly left the place and dashed back out onto the road.

However, my craving was still nagging me. I felt quite guilty about it because again, I didn’t want to fall back into bad habits. But I also knew that moving into a healthier lifestyle wasn’t about hanging onto guilt-ridden feelings about food. I had to realize that, outside completely inedible and toxic-riddled foods, no foods were bad. Choices and attitudes about them were.

I saw a mini-mall section as I got closer to my next destination. I spotted a large sign therein entitled LAX Boba and Yogurt. Now anyone who knows me knows how much of a fanatic I am about boba drinks aka tapioca drinks or bubble tea. It caught my attention immediately to see a place that sold two things that I highly enjoy. Of course, I had to make a stop.

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Should we look to fulfill all or most of our needs in a romantic partner? I’ve thought about this intermittently over the years and I think it’s healthy to develop at least a few friendships to satisfy different bonding needs.

I think of my relationship with my fiancé and I realize that although we have a lot of uncanny things in common and there are some differences which balance us out, there are things we just won’t ever really relate to the same way.

For example, I am a very spiritual non-religious person and my fiancé is what you would call an agnostic-atheist. He generally is of the mindset that if something can’t be seen or proven, then it probably doesn’t exist in a metaphysical context or it doesn’t exist at all. With that being said, he still remains open to ideas and other realities which makes him willing to explore to some degree. Just not to the degree I naturally wish to and do often explore.

Should I hold this against my fiancé and consider our otherwise strong level of compatibility a wash? Of course not. It’s not like he’s a radical hardcore atheist and I a fundamentalist religious person. I know we often hear the term opposites attractive but I don’t take this too literally and I think it’s taken out of context quite often. Opposites attract when partners bring different inclinations and traits to the table that balance one another.

The aforementioned pairing would not work because both people are too set in their ways and would naturally try to proselytize to the other. The relationship would cease to grow. In my relationship with my fiancé, we do have a lot of ground to work with but I think it would be healthy for me to be open to cultivating friendships with people who can relate to my brand and level of spiritualism more strongly.

These friendships would only add more enrichment to my life and I’d continue to appreciate the bond I have with my partner rather than expecting him to literally and unrealistically be a duplicate of myself. No one could ever satisfy such expectations.

You are fortunate if you’ve truly found your partner in crime, but don’t forget to come up for air and explore the waiting and rewarding connections in the world around you. Opening yourself up to other energies outside of your relationship once in awhile is what can truly make you see your partner as “your everything”.

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Since this is a writing journal, I can’t leave my love of food and drink out of the mix. Once and awhile, I will post various recipes for reference as well as reviews and links to different restaurants, sites, shops and eateries.

I’ve always had a fascination with making milks and butters out of nuts and with trying as many varieties as I can.

I will start off by introducing cashew milk. You can make it yourself or you can look for it in stores.

Cashew milk can also be found in some health food stores although it is more common to see almond milk right next to rice and soy milk brands instead. Some are my favorite places to shop at are:

1. Whole Foods Market, Wild Oats Market (now owned by Whole Foods)
2. Co-Opportunity (store in Santa Monica)
3. Gelson’s Market
4. Rainbow Bridge Market in Ojai, when I get a chance to go as I haven’t been in some time

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Wow. Are we just overreacting or do we, as a society, really need to start stocking up on food supplies because the economy is getting that bad? I’ve read that some stores are also starting to accept haggling and bargaining from customers for better product prices.

LINK

Interestingly enough, I just came back from Costco about an hour ago. I’ve been buying several cases of strawberries from them for the last few weeks and today I added some blackberries to my cart. I am currently enjoying a large bowl of mixed berries; sweet and tangy. I so love fruit.

But fruits and everything else are becoming more expensive. That’s one of the reasons why I’ve been getting my berries from Costco…the strawberries are just 4.99 a case whereas at regular supermarkets, the cases are half the size, cost twice as much and the berries are usually tasteless and sour.

Rice prices are definitely out of control. I actually prefer the jasmine rice and that’s what I usually by. The taste and aroma of the rice slightly reminds me of popcorn. I purchased a large bag of it few days ago from Pavilions. I like the flavor over plain steamed white rice. That’s too bad that supplies are being cut short for so many items and prices are surging.

I can imagine how this will affect the cost of food at various eateries that prepare and offer meals using a lot of rice. I bet a lot of people will be eating out less in the next fear years as our economy continues to struggle.

I came across an article the other day which stated that the slow food lifestyle is coming back around due to all of these changes. Not just in the U.S. but also in various parts of Asia. I love dining out and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with doing it once in awhile, but I’ve always appreciated and loved preparing a home-cooked meal. I think a lot of people should either learn how to cook or cook more than they do and not rely so much on eating out. The closer we are to preparing our meals, the more we can appreciate and feel rewarded by what we eat.

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Cheating…well everyone certainly has their own definition of what cheating is to them. I’ve heard some crazy ones though.

I am pretty direct and to the point about cheating. I’ve never experienced this and I’d certainly never cheat (I can say that confidently). I have no tolerance for it. I figure there are -always- better ways to handle a situation if my partner feels disconnected, wants to step outside of the relationship or has other desires. They can communicate to me and let me know what is going on. That’s not an easy thing to hear or to express, but it is always a better alternative to cheating.

Cheating to me is when:

1. my partner sleeps with someone else
2. my partner kisses someone else in a romantic or sexual manner or -lets- someone else do this to them
3. my partner fondles or gropes someone else or -lets- someone do these things to them
4. my partner makes efforts to get involved emotionally with someone else (love letters, phone calls, meetings, etc)
5. my partner is in love with someone else and encourages the associated feelings and connection
6. my partner goes online and uses dating sites or matchmaking services

Any of these things would fit into my definition of cheating. I can respect the decision of others to have an open relationship or one that is polyamorous in nature. There’s no “cheating” going on in those kinds of relationships if both people have an understanding from the beginning. I have a strong curiosity with learning about the relationship styles of others because it’s different from what I prefer or desire. However, I know relationships like that aren’t for me because I am wired differently. I prefer monogamy and my desire to be so has nothing to do with morals or ethics. Ethics only comes into play if a breach of trust is broken and there’s a lack of integrity involved. Read the rest of this entry »

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Living day to day with the responsibilities and obligations of finances, family, career and self can be very overwhelming and anxiety-inducing. All of these life facets can bring us great joy if there’s mutual respect, harmony and progress present, but as adults who are obliged to manage our lives in such complexity of interpersonal relations, we can often lose sight of and the ability to develop ourselves or to find meaning and direction in our lives. Instilling the practice of mediation into our daily living can do wonders and there are many personalized and creative ways an individual can meditate in order to restore inner peace, solve problems and gain balance and self-assurance.

Innovation is what one must use when coming up with beneficial ways to bring mediation into frequent practice. This innovation will require a person to look at themselves honestly and to think openly. It’s rather easy to walk into a bookstore to select a book or type in a url online to follow a generic one-way-suits-all manner of meditating but each person much meditate with purpose and in a way they can relate to which will be dependent on the type of clarity and release one specifically needs. This further requires one to look at the basic set of emotions that are plaguing them. These might be questions you ask yourself before you begin choosing a meditation method:

1. Do I feel anger?
2. Am I experiencing sadness?
3. Am I overwhelmed with frustration?
4. Am I blocked by Indecisiveness?
5. Am I burdened with fear?
6. Is there something I need to tell someone but don’t know how?
7. Do I just need time to myself away from distractions?
8. Am I unsure about what I am feeling and need some clarity?
9. Do I need to become more comfortable with myself in isolation?

All of these and more are great starter questions to ask yourself. You will find that you will not use one form of meditation all of the time since each kind of meditation works best for certain emotional needs. I will introduce some forms of meditation that I use and that I’ve have creatively developed over the years. Read the rest of this entry »

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He walked into the Chinese restaurant and waited to be greeted and seated. He was led to a dimly lit seating booth and given a menu to browse.

He maintained a pleasant and modest smile throughout his exploration and eventually decided upon a blended cocktail drink and a sirloin steak dinner.

The waiter came to take his order and politely left the table.

The man surveyed the restaurant and took notice of the various shapes, colors and beings placed around him. It was all very stimulating…and catalytic.

The waiter made his way back with the man’s cocktail drink along with a clear glass of cold iced water. The man’s eyes became wider and wetter around the edges as the cocktail drink was placed on his table. The alcoholic drink contained a bright red maraschino cherry impaled by a decorative transparent pick.

The waiter asked if the man would like anything else and the man gave a firm motion of his hand to indicate no. The waiter announced that his dinner would arrive soon and left the table.

As the man looked around again to glance about the room, he noticed that shapes, hues and sounds were all one and this was a sign. The feeling and the message were very intense to him, but he had to wait until the right moment. The right moment would be the defining point and purpose.

He slowly rocked back and forth in his seat and licked his lips continuously to keep them wet and sensitive. He intermittently placed his middle finger straight down in the cold glass of water and sucked on it until the skin was irritated and taut.

Soon the waiter arrived with the man’s steak dinner. He greeted the man with an obligatory and hospitable grin and placed his plate on the table warning the man that the plate was hot. The man moved his cocktail drink in front of himself and casually plucked off the cherry impaled on the pick. He held the pick between his right thumb and index finger in a precise manner and as the waiter begin to question if the man desired anything more, the man then dramatically shoved the pick into his left eye until only a point was visible.

Contact had been made and the moment was gloriously defined…

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A bucket full of bruised baby hearts was found alongside a twisted gray road. A worn traveler made the discovery and felt compelled to bring the keepsakes home. He had heartless bodies waiting in the ground in his backyard and finally, it seemed as if they could serve a purpose and fulfill their destinies.

The bodies were dug up after the traveler finished a hearty meal of clam chowder and cornmeal biscuits. His temples were sore and tight from vigorous chewing.

Bodies were placed side by side on the cynical grass, like sardines resting in a tin can, as the earth was disturbed. Each body had been preserved well in plastic casings filled and submerged with curious and strangely aromatic oils, salts and resins. The traveler looked over all of the bodies as they were uncovered and placed his hand over his heart in sacred sentimentality. He felt a vibration underneath his hand and yearned for something very promising and unspeakable. He suddenly imagined a sky full of luminous stars bleeding brightly with softly jagged and hazy light auras.

He pulled the bucket of injured baby hearts near and began to fondle them in his hands to feel their texture, moistness and power. He knew that these would do very well. They had history but they also had a future. The very nature of their condition established this fact and the traveler was the magician. The traveler now imagined a universe completely packed with infinitude of bodies each possessing a center with radiating life orbs.

He took a pocket knife and slashed open one of the body casings and complicated liquid gushed out all over the grass and onto the traveler’s steel-toed boots. He began to whistle peacefully and proceeded to cut open the other body casings. Invisible lives were being murdered and replaced with tangibility.

Once all of the casings were completely opened, he gathered a baby heart in his hand from the bucket and placed one directly into the withered but well preserved and black blood-crusted hole of the chest cavity of one of the bodies. The traveler’s whistling got a little louder and sharp and he continued embedding hearts into each body. Thirteen bodies total were invaded.

The traveler began to feel weak and the initial vibrating in his chest became more tremulous. His vision also began to darken and blur and his mouth and throat locked up and became arid. His whistling turned into fierce and desperate expulsions of air; a violent zephyr-kissed melody.

The traveler tried to stand up but instead collapsed theatrically onto ground. The bodies on the grass began to transform and shape-shift. All of the traveler’s clothing articles disappeared into the secrets of air. The traveler’s body unfolded out on the grass in stark nakedness with steady trembling and shaking.

The mouths of the corpses each formed into the shape of a small circle and staccato puffs of air came out of all of them. The spurts of air eventually took on the familiar sound of the traveler’s smooth and elegant whistling that he previously was able to express. The casings fell away and the torsos of the bodies rose slowly until they reached upright and erect sitting positions.

Each face on the body slowly took on the features of the traveler’s face as the mouths continued to churn out haunting whistles. The bodies eventually began to stand up and gather great strength and vitality. Each turned out to be complete duplicates of the traveler’s physical disposition.

They all drew near the traveler’s lifeless corpse and stood over him in a tight gathering while staring down at his body with wide and penetrating bloodshot sets of eyes. The live facsimiles joined hands and walked around the traveler’s body in a clockwise path. As they circled around continuously, his body began to dry out, shrink and erode and in his place, a startling pile of clothing garments and many pairs of steel-toed boots materialized. The circling slowed down to a halt and each entity grabbed a piece of clothing to get dressed in.

There was much to be done. They cleared out and cleaned up the yard and the casings were thrown away completely. Each of the entities needed to get some rest and prepare for the next day’s mission, which was to gather enough food and clothing, set out onto town roads, hitchhike and make homes in new areas.

Once the entities were settled into their new abodes, their silent killing sprees would begin in local areas and pristine backyards would soon be filled with fresh, dehearted and mercurially preserved vessels.

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I had no idea that I could blog through word by connecting to a online blogging account. That’s so cool. I’ll definitely be utilized this way of blogging. I can easily format and review my writing through Word before posting.

I’ll be posting a number of articles at this blog in the -very- near future, which means SOON as well as references to my writing projects. I think the writing flow has definitely started and I am glad for this.

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