The Asymptotic Faery - The Writings of Allyson N. Jason

Current Mood: Indescribable & Introspective

Yesterday I was thinking of the subject of happiness. I wonder if sensitivity and happiness are directly related. I think so.

I am able to create moments of “happiness” where I take pleasure in the most simplest of things and where I make connections between the dissimilar. I can be very creative in my perspectives to where I am able to create my own worlds and wholly exist in them. But I admit that sometimes I can allow those worlds to become nightmares of some sort where sinister faces and scenes appear around every corner and sweet, pure and playful things aren’t exactly as wonderful as they seem. This happens if I let it because there are so many ways to perceive when you let in a variety of triggers (”changing agents” or perhaps “malevolent bottles of dyes”) and when invisible shape-shifter entities are seen only when they take on a specific form or identity.

Sometimes you find that those shape-shifters are many sly copies of yourself.

I just had a random thought. Looked outside of my window just now and saw a tall cluster of trees that has been there for as long as I can remember. Their branches and leaves are swaying in the windy atmosphere. I thought to myself, “These are someone’s veins.” I also began to think that sometimes a hyper-manifestation of details is very sickening…

Where is the blood? Is the blood air? Is the blood represented by any place water exists?

I recently got this vision of being in an eerily silent hallway full of doors on each side. The doors are semi-transparent to where I can see the movement of shadows behind them but no clarity. The end of the hallway shows a panel of two doors, also partially transparent, no knobs, with the out pour of muted bright light. I turn away from the end of the hallway as there is no way to open up the panel. Each time I look for a door handle, a shadowed body showing from behind the panel copies my movement.

I look around at the hallway doors and go to open up one door. I see giant legs and feet shuffling back and forth as I peer in. When I look up, the legs continue upwards forever with no connected body in sight. But they continue to fidget and as they do I can hear dancing sounds that mimic the effects of empty plastic bottles continually falling down on a surface.

I close the door and look across the hallway to approach another door. I can see thick and clear liquid oozing out of the seams of the doorway. The smell is slightly noxious but induces a euphoric feeling each time I deeply inhale and the pleasure makes me quickly envision fading scenarios of bundled shapes and patterns. I open the door and a huge eye is revealed. The eyeball bulges out of the doorway further, quivering and unable to blink while releasing more of that slimy thick clear liquid from the edges.

I feel this urge to punch the eye in the middle of the pupil. Once I do this, the eye pops like a balloon that has just received a sharp pin prick, and releases the sound of a woman’s coquettish laugh. The door closes and the knob disappears with the ting of a bell.

I decide to open another door but as I stand in front of it, something doesn’t feel right. I feel as if this is the wrong door to open…ever. I open the door anyway and a gigantic head of a penis pops through the entryway. The meatus is very large and stretchy and as I stare into its tunnel, I find myself immediately sucked into its passage.  As my body is enveloped by the opening, I feel waves of insane pleasure.

The penis passage appears to be another hallway, a fleshy and spongy hallway. I go further into the passage and with each step I hear the combined sounds of pops and erotic male moans at many pitches. The pitches deepen as I move toward the end of the tunnel. There is a throbbing, bulbous and round wad of veiny flesh at the end. A voice emanates from it and asks me if I know madness. The voice is incredibly low-pitched and threatening in delivery. I answer to it that I know madness and I hear a loud gasp. Before I know it, a long arm fronted with a big tightened fist comes through the flesh knob and punches me in the face to where both of my eyes are damaged. I throw my hands to my face and over my eyes in horror and in pain…and I can feel wetness and pieces of delicate tissue seep through the cracks of my fingers. My legs and feet shift back and forth as I try to bear the pain.

The voice continues to speak to me but I have no idea what it is saying. The language is obscure and like nothing I’ve ever heard before. The voice gets louder and I can feel the interior walls of the penis tightening around my body. They are closing in. I can’t move. My body is frozen in the position of tragic agony. The voice tells me to let go many times and “see”. I ignore it knowing that I can’t move or that I can no longer see due to the damage and mutilation to my eyes. But it continues to tell me to let go and see. I scream in frustration and horror and struggle to do something. Anything. The voice continues to pressure me into submission to its commands. The walls get so tight around my body that I feel I will explode open into a bloody and bony mess.

To my shock, another voice yells out my name and it sounds like my own voice as I strain to make sense of it at first. My voice is also telling me to let go and see. I scream out for help but I realize that this makes no sense. My voice from afar tells me that if I don’t let go and see, that I will die and find myself fragmenting into a million pieces, scattered around many worlds never feeling complete or whole no matter how hard I search and look. Each found piece will immediately unlock a new lost piece somewhere else thus continuing the hellish nightmare.

I fight to open my eyes and let go of the tight sensation that continues to envelop around my body. I find that I can begin to see something although my hands are in the same position. I find that I begin to feel free although the walls of the penile passage still tighten around me.

As this new vision comes into focus, I notice that I am in a blue warehouse room. A naked baby is sitting upright in the middle of the room staring at me with very wide doll-like eyes. The color of its eyes cannot be made out as they appear to constantly change in hue far too fast for perception to take hold of.

The baby hiccups and falls over and reveals a propped mirror behind it. I lean down to see what is in the reflection of the mirror. The reflection is of a large nude infant leaning over to peer unto itself. The eyes are alert, expressive and full of bewildered curiosity…

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Current Mood: Indescribable

As Patrick pulled up to the remote hospital near the outskirts of town, he noticed that the parking lots and the premises overall were empty. There was only one car near the front of the hospital entryway and it appeared to be an abandoned slick black Camaro. The Camaro had odd characters carved into the paint job and the tires were missing.

Patrick wondered if the hospital was closed. He also wondered what kind of hospital this was. It was strange and in a very remote part of town that he’d never been to. Why did his friend recommend this place to him last week? There was no one here. Could he even get in?

Patrick took his cell phone out of his pocket and decided to call Thomas. He wanted to verify that he was at the correct address but Patrick noticed that his cell phone could not pick up a signal. He looked again at the building through his car window and saw that the street address matched what he wrote down on paper.

1771.

He was certainly on the street of Uriah. He was on time for his appointment. He also knew that there was no other hospital around the area, so this had to be it.

Patrick decided to get out of his car and walk up to the entrance. As soon as he neared two feet of the entry doors, he was asked to insert his driver’s license into a nearby slot on the left wall for identification. This bewildered Patrick but he figured since he had an appointment, this might be the way that the hospital allowed certain people in during, what seemed so far to be, off-hours.

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Current Mood: Indescribable

Her honey caked legs ran faster and faster into darkness. The Madness crept up and bit into her arm. She screamed and spit up millions of lugubrious cherries.

These cherries were ripe and they circled around in the air creating a nautilus pattern. The pattern developed a tragic noise and that noise gave birth to shallow life forms below the earth who dreamt of stomping repeatedly over the heads of kingdom sized boys with no names…

In the kitchen he sat worried…waiting to lick her legs. He wondered if she’d be back….He had vanilla plans that would rip her tongue out of her mouth and splay it open to expose misty tentacles grabbing for serious life. Life that sexed death and death that loved nothing.

She came through the door with pomegranates lodged in her face. The seeds underneath trembled and bled and juice teemed in between the layers of her skin.

This juice jerked out of her skin and fused into a solid sticky form that stood in front of him threatening to kill. He would not urge but he wanted…

Madness loomed and the house folded into milky legs…they ran across perky terrain that epitomized flat dimensions…

In the middle of the road sat a bowl of fruit…an eyeball apple was selected and bit into by a hyper pigmented mouth. Visions were induced and fragments became depths…

Sugar crystals formed everywhere…

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Current Mood: Indescribable

She knocked him down and stared into his soul. He became restless and cried out for help. She silenced him…

Later on, her chair rocked while she sat but her legs were still and her arms folded. Her mouth was tight and pursed and he was mummified in front of the fire. The rug coiled back and forth creating paralysis between his eyes. *water sizzles in the back*

She got up slow but fast and hovered over him. Her smile widened and she revealed bloody teeth. Each drop of blood gave rise to an eye as it dropped onto the floor. Each eye stood flattened in its place lodged in between the surface and depth of the floor. Their stares were painful and quixotic.

He rolled over off the carpet and smashed each eye with his body. As each eye was destroyed, his pain became pleasure. He gained speed and moved toward her legs and feet. She kicked him hard as he came near and on the third kick he flew into the fire and popped into a bundle of pulsating veins of all different hues.

She, full of glee grabbed the bundle of veins out of the fire with her round golden arms and threw it onto the couch. There she sat back in her chair and it began to rock again…fiercely. Her gaze stayed fixated upon the bundle and slowly it reorganized and formed It.

It was volatile. It got up and lunged toward her and punched its fist into her forehead. Blood splattered everywhere and flesh flew. It grabbed her arms and tore them off with ease and threw them across the room, where they soon disappeared and reappeared in black and white. It grabbed her buttocks and peeled them apart until they split open completely and exposed the purity of her tail bone. It ripped the skin off of her fingers and stuffed it into her nostrils. It popped her eyeballs out and dug for syntax.

It stood in front of the fireplace, held its face and screamed.

Her torso began to slime and leak into the cracks of the floor. The fire turned green and its essence joined forces with It.

It was all over.

It was always there.

It will stay forever.

It was her.

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Current Mood: Indescribable

I peek into a room and there I see my sweet avocado soundly sleeping. She is tender and ripe but I must poke her as I am compelled.

I creep slowly up to the bed and dab at her belly. The flesh reveals a small indentation and slowly springs back up evenly. She remains quiet and appears undisturbed…

I decide to take a deeper jab and this time her skin tears open and rich green contents spill out…my sweet avocado is sick now. She’s no longer in good health…and she has been disrupted by discontentment.

I’ve caused her to bleed and while leaning over her, I look up at the ceiling into unknown space with glistening quivering slightly parted lips, close my eyes and visions of prancing haughty carrots, pungent empowering rolling onions and looming phallic cucumbers overwhelm my mind’s eye amid layers of fluorescent and acrid smelling smoke with fragrant sweet undertones.

They scold me and I begin to form round. My insides start to uniformly transform into a thick chunky bright red liquid. My screams are halted by the ongoing disappearance of my mouth. My mind remains conscious but my body continues to change.

I eventually become a reflection of my sweet avocado. I find that the world around me becomes exponentially smaller. I appear now in a cushioned delicate bed within a mysterious room featuring a cracked open wooden door. I soon spot large peering bloodshot eyes accompanied by a wide curious grin peering around the door. A being enters with long pointy shaky fingers and an arrhythmic walk.

I am now a curiosity and I am pressed lightly on the surface of my stomach. It tickles…but soon I find myself consumed by intense pain and coldness…an intrusion quite unexplainable. I’ve been pierced with a thick bony index finger and now my insides are spilling out…

Soon I will die and enter into the world of sick vegetation…and I will repeatedly relive this

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He walked into the Chinese restaurant and waited to be greeted and seated. He was led to a dimly lit seating booth and given a menu to browse.

He maintained a pleasant and modest smile throughout his exploration and eventually decided upon a blended cocktail drink and a sirloin steak dinner.

The waiter came to take his order and politely left the table.

The man surveyed the restaurant and took notice of the various shapes, colors and beings placed around him. It was all very stimulating…and catalytic.

The waiter made his way back with the man’s cocktail drink along with a clear glass of cold iced water. The man’s eyes became wider and wetter around the edges as the cocktail drink was placed on his table. The alcoholic drink contained a bright red maraschino cherry impaled by a decorative transparent pick.

The waiter asked if the man would like anything else and the man gave a firm motion of his hand to indicate no. The waiter announced that his dinner would arrive soon and left the table.

As the man looked around again to glance about the room, he noticed that shapes, hues and sounds were all one and this was a sign. The feeling and the message were very intense to him, but he had to wait until the right moment. The right moment would be the defining point and purpose.

He slowly rocked back and forth in his seat and licked his lips continuously to keep them wet and sensitive. He intermittently placed his middle finger straight down in the cold glass of water and sucked on it until the skin was irritated and taut.

Soon the waiter arrived with the man’s steak dinner. He greeted the man with an obligatory and hospitable grin and placed his plate on the table warning the man that the plate was hot. The man moved his cocktail drink in front of himself and casually plucked off the cherry impaled on the pick. He held the pick between his right thumb and index finger in a precise manner and as the waiter begin to question if the man desired anything more, the man then dramatically shoved the pick into his left eye until only a point was visible.

Contact had been made and the moment was gloriously defined…

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A bucket full of bruised baby hearts was found alongside a twisted gray road. A worn traveler made the discovery and felt compelled to bring the keepsakes home. He had heartless bodies waiting in the ground in his backyard and finally, it seemed as if they could serve a purpose and fulfill their destinies.

The bodies were dug up after the traveler finished a hearty meal of clam chowder and cornmeal biscuits. His temples were sore and tight from vigorous chewing.

Bodies were placed side by side on the cynical grass, like sardines resting in a tin can, as the earth was disturbed. Each body had been preserved well in plastic casings filled and submerged with curious and strangely aromatic oils, salts and resins. The traveler looked over all of the bodies as they were uncovered and placed his hand over his heart in sacred sentimentality. He felt a vibration underneath his hand and yearned for something very promising and unspeakable. He suddenly imagined a sky full of luminous stars bleeding brightly with softly jagged and hazy light auras.

He pulled the bucket of injured baby hearts near and began to fondle them in his hands to feel their texture, moistness and power. He knew that these would do very well. They had history but they also had a future. The very nature of their condition established this fact and the traveler was the magician. The traveler now imagined a universe completely packed with infinitude of bodies each possessing a center with radiating life orbs.

He took a pocket knife and slashed open one of the body casings and complicated liquid gushed out all over the grass and onto the traveler’s steel-toed boots. He began to whistle peacefully and proceeded to cut open the other body casings. Invisible lives were being murdered and replaced with tangibility.

Once all of the casings were completely opened, he gathered a baby heart in his hand from the bucket and placed one directly into the withered but well preserved and black blood-crusted hole of the chest cavity of one of the bodies. The traveler’s whistling got a little louder and sharp and he continued embedding hearts into each body. Thirteen bodies total were invaded.

The traveler began to feel weak and the initial vibrating in his chest became more tremulous. His vision also began to darken and blur and his mouth and throat locked up and became arid. His whistling turned into fierce and desperate expulsions of air; a violent zephyr-kissed melody.

The traveler tried to stand up but instead collapsed theatrically onto ground. The bodies on the grass began to transform and shape-shift. All of the traveler’s clothing articles disappeared into the secrets of air. The traveler’s body unfolded out on the grass in stark nakedness with steady trembling and shaking.

The mouths of the corpses each formed into the shape of a small circle and staccato puffs of air came out of all of them. The spurts of air eventually took on the familiar sound of the traveler’s smooth and elegant whistling that he previously was able to express. The casings fell away and the torsos of the bodies rose slowly until they reached upright and erect sitting positions.

Each face on the body slowly took on the features of the traveler’s face as the mouths continued to churn out haunting whistles. The bodies eventually began to stand up and gather great strength and vitality. Each turned out to be complete duplicates of the traveler’s physical disposition.

They all drew near the traveler’s lifeless corpse and stood over him in a tight gathering while staring down at his body with wide and penetrating bloodshot sets of eyes. The live facsimiles joined hands and walked around the traveler’s body in a clockwise path. As they circled around continuously, his body began to dry out, shrink and erode and in his place, a startling pile of clothing garments and many pairs of steel-toed boots materialized. The circling slowed down to a halt and each entity grabbed a piece of clothing to get dressed in.

There was much to be done. They cleared out and cleaned up the yard and the casings were thrown away completely. Each of the entities needed to get some rest and prepare for the next day’s mission, which was to gather enough food and clothing, set out onto town roads, hitchhike and make homes in new areas.

Once the entities were settled into their new abodes, their silent killing sprees would begin in local areas and pristine backyards would soon be filled with fresh, dehearted and mercurially preserved vessels.

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Current Mood: Indescribable

“So what do you do for a living?”
“I bake snakes.”

“What did you think? That two men couldn’t have sex together and not mistake a knife for a fork?”

“How’s that washer and dryer unit working?”

She began laughing insanely and writhing violently on that filthy mattress.

“I am inclined to think that any man can chew his way through his own fat if he wanted to.”

“What’s so funny about this? I don’t know anyone else? Do you? Because I’ve got a lot of jitters in my heart and each time I expel, the world moves with me.”

“Susan doesn’t think with all of her sunsets. Eventually, they’ll all expire and that will be the Ends of Days for her.”

“I know plenty of Christmas men. They are proud, strong and think with a good hunter and gatherer instinct. That’ll make any mother proud, that she’ll sparkle like a tree and her love will burn like an eternal flame in the passions and throes of the holy fireplace of life.”

“Harmony and precincts go together. When one is absent, there’s no place for individuals to gather in championship and peace.”

“Why those would make a fine pair of gloves! Just hollow out the flesh and bone and hang them up to dry.”

“You sure had me fooled. I thought you were lost. But now I recognize you again and we look the same.”

The room was very dark, however upon close inspection; she could make out a vague shadow standing in the corner near the heavily curtained windows. The shadow appeared to be rocking back and forth in short sluggish movements. The head looked to be misshapen and the body was somewhat amorphous; long exaggerated extremities and bodily edges that looked to be viscous in texture.
There was a peculiar smell of smoke about the room. She held in her breath and lowered herself further below the bed’s mattress level. The shadow began to slowly but steadily drift toward the bed in intermittent but brief displays of disappearances. It looked like a constant play of flickers and with each flicker, the shadow became less amorphous and more revealing…

“Charlie! Charlie!! Please listen to me! Listen to me!!”

“Would you stop yelling?! What’s the matter with you? Why were you screaming like that? “

“I can’t help it! There’s something down there and we have to get out of here!! I know what I saw and…Oh Charlie I am so scared!”

“You stay right here. I am going to go –”

“No!!! Please don’t go!! You’ll be in danger! Please!! Listen to me!”

“Alright, alright! Calm down and tell me what you saw.”

“I…I….I heard this humming sound while I was reading on the couch and it was coming from the refrigerator. So I decided to check it out and…Oh Charlie…”

“Go on…go on.”

“I decided to check it out and I opened the refrigerator. I saw this other world Charlie! This other world!”

“What the fuck do you mean this other world? Are you out of your goddamned fucking mind! You must have been dreaming.”

“No no no!!! I wasn’t dreaming!! I saw it Charlie, I saw acres and acres of moving fields, tall zigzagged blades of grass and big mountains staggering in a darkening horizon! It looked like I could fall right through. I thought I was seeing things but I wasn’t Charlie! I continued to look and before I knew it, the heads of these gel-like creatures appeared around the corners of the refrigerator from inside the view! They had large foreheads and I could see everything inside their heads…there was something, like a central eye in the forehead and that made me see a face when I looked into it. Christ! It was my own fucking face and I could see myself opening my mouth really freakishly wide like I was going to attack myself!! Eat myself whole! My face got closer and I thought I was going to fall into my own mouth and get swallowed so that’s when you heard me scream and I couldn’t stop screaming Charlie! I closed the door and ran upstairs as fast I could!”

“Evening Sir”
“Evening”
“Say, do you know where Oakley Avenue is?”
“I do. It’s one more street over. Just continue down this path and you’ll see it. You can’t miss it”
“Wondeful. Thank you sir!”
“My pleasure.”
The stranger’s eyes crinkled tightly around the corners, he smiled and continued watering his grass.
George turned around to survey the path down the neighborhood road. He could see the street, that the stranger referenced, just down the path.
“Say sir, I have one more quest–”
The stranger was gone, along with his house and the entire neighborhood. Right in front of George was a door in the hue of soft dull blue. On the door was a label that said Oakley Avenue in bold Baskerville type. George was stunned and bewildered. He turned around again and saw that the back wall of an empty sterile room, in the same color of the door, had replaced the view of the neighborhood road.
George faced the door again and saw that it was now slightly ajar and a glowing yellow light was coming through.
George gave the room another look in complete confusion and apprehensively decided to push the door further open and explore…

“I don’t like mustard. I especially don’t like runny mustard. It’s sickening, it’s vile and very horrifying…and when I hear her talk, I become devastatingly ill.”

“I smoke cigarettes because I can. You drink because you can’t. Our convictions are different.”

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