The Asymptotic Faery - The Writings of Allyson N. Jason

Current Mood: Curious & Introspective & Thoughtful

Do you believe some people are more fortunate than others or do you think people create their own luck? In your opinion, are some people cursed?

I believe yes to both. I believe, regardless of whether we like it or not, some people are more fortunate and in far more advantageous positions than others for whatever reason and based on different perspectives. That doesn’t mean people in those positions will lead a better life or will be happier, but they have some things only others can dream of or that others work very hard for.

I think first we have to define what luck or fortune is. It means something different to everyone and our definition of luck is not always going to be a linear one. It can be a multifaceted definition in itself depending on what we need, want or value at the moment or what our circumstances are in life. Values change or we evolve and suddenly we might not look at certain things, people or situations as desirous or lucky any longer.

Someone’s inability to keep weight on very easily can be some form of misfortune if they become gravely ill and need the extra body reserves suddenly.

Some man or woman’s very long hair might be the death or disfigurement of them, if caught in the wrong circumstances in a hot tub’s drains and jets or some industrial machine in a manufacturing plant.

Although some might argue with this (especially those who grew up very poor and struggling), it might be unfortunate for someone to grow up incredibly rich and be handed everything as as child and as a result, he/she has no clue how to function as an autonomous hard-working and balanced adult. They might develop very destructive coping skills and addictions to handle their inadequacies and insecurities even though it looks like they are living a grand life. They might truly have internal problems that run far deeper than what they appear to be to everyone else observing. But I also see the devil’s advocate from some people, “Boohoo, poor little rich girl or boy! Why don’t they try living my life and past and see how they can take it!” I do know that is how some feel because their experiences are so different and they believe they’ve had it much harder in life…were less fortunate/lucky.

So the crystal continues to have many cuts or faces on it.

And then there’s the idea that everyone that has something or many things we value are living a so-called charmed life. Sometimes people who want others to believe they are living a charmed life hide their problems and dysfunctions. They won’t show people that dark face…that broken side. So you are left to see all the glittery stuff so they can believe themselves that they too live this charmed life. It is true that in some cases like this all that glitters isn’t gold. While someone might have the riches, fame, connection(s), relationship, looks or anything that we want/value, they might have some other very unfortunate things they could be dealing with that none of us peering in can truly see or would ever want. A little different than the example further above about wealth because these demons might not be a result of their supposed luck, but rather another side that people just don’t see or aren’t meant to see by efforts of the “charmed one” him or herself.

I know that -we each- can be looked at as living a charmed life depending on where the observer of each one of us stands. We all have something that someone else values for themselves. I know I take many things for granted. Life can look so dark at times where light is hard to recognize, but I forget that there are others who might look at my life and wish for some elements in it that at the moment, I don’t remember to value.

I always think about that too and it’s a difficult feeling to be at peace with. I’ve been told before, “Do you realize what others are going through elsewhere? Things could be worse. There are people…(insert any horrible tragedy/condition here)”

The reality is, this is very true and it always makes a good point, but then I think, do my feelings of frustration or depression not matter in their own right? Is it not possible that I too, regardless of what others might experience far worse, can feel pain or dissatisfaction?

I seem to want to justify that because if everyone asked that question, we’d all have reasons to be completely happy at any time…always appreciative…always aware that we have many things to value that can give us hope and happiness…as there is always someone worse off than each of us. And again remember the subjectivity in what being worse off or less fortunate is. That would be an endless wonderful pot of thought-wealth to use anytime we needed it wouldn’t it? Instant mood enhancer and the perfect drug.

While someone is agonizing over the riches that someone else has and has always wanted in their own life, another person might look at the sufferer and go, “I just don’t get it! Why do they care so much about material things?? I am perfectly happy with my simple living and I actually feel I have a lot of wealth in the connections I have with loved ones and my experiences. They are making themselves miserable over nothing. Poor soul.”

Someone else won’t get why another person goes to great lengths to torture their mind, body and soul as well as pocketbooks over looking “perfect” because they never felt beautiful enough in life for whatever reason. The observer of this sufferer will think, “OK I might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but I am just fine with how I look even though I know I have imperfections. I accept that I won’t please everyone and I will never try to. It’s impossible. I look forward to other things in life and I can appreciate my own unique traits and know that I don’t need the entire world of men or women to find me beautiful.”

Another thing I always find interesting is how we always like to think in black or white terms with people, to make ourselves feel better, although it sometimes DOES apply. Someone can’t be everything…smart, beautiful, rich, successful, perfect relationship, great friends and wonderful career. Something has got to give…if he or she has this, they can’t have that. And some people take comfort in assuming that formula. lol

But although no one is “perfect” some people DO have it better in some regards which goes back to why I think yes some people are just luckier based on what any person’s value system is.

As for “cursed”, I am not sure what I think about that. That opens up a completely different subject all of its own.

Regarding creating luck (remembering some things I’ve read in Outliers which I recommend reading as it deals with the topic of success and luck), I think it is important that we each try to create the fortune we want in life…whatever it is that we value. Some of us will have to work harder or do things differently just to get or establish what someone else has by default.

Also although we each suffer in our own right still look at the connections you have and value them. Not everyone has them. Some people are far more alone, unloved or unwanted.

Look at the situation you are in…some people might be struggling harder financially than you are…no place to live, not sure when they’ll next eat, no clean shelter or medical resources.

Some might have it “better” but if we focus within and keep sight on where we want to go or what we want, as fortune, then we can begin to appreciate ourselves more and where we’re going.

Hmmm…another part of me wonders how we can also ever get out of the comparison game. Is comparing any better when it is to make ourselves feel better no matter how benign the effort appears to be? How is that different than comparing to make ourselves feel worse?

How do we become accepting and at peace without any game of comparison at all…intrinsically? Is that possible? Is this where “ignorance is bliss” truly advantageous? Let’s say we couldn’t find someone worse off than us in a given condition or circumstance, what do you do then to make yourself feel better about where you are and what you have? How do you accept or appreciate without an element of comparison being involved? The comparison factor does come in for everyone on many levels. It’s hard to eradicate no matter how much we say we are blind to the game of it. Any one of us has thrown out a statement about how much better we are compared to someone else for whatever reason.

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Current Mood: Sad

Michael Jackson was brilliant, insanely talented and he left an indelible, inimitable, phenomenal, revolutionary and surreal mark on the face of entertainment and music…forever. No matter what you feel or interpret about the personal life he led, this is inarguable.

It’s so easy to call him a freak, a nut bar, a lunatic, a black sellout, a child molester (without any conclusive and solid facts in cases that were actually shown to involve some families who lied and extorted) a crazed individual, but none of us led his extremely surreal and abnormal lifestyle since he was a wee child. Also put into motion that he was -obviously- a very ultra sensitive individual who never got treatment for any of the traumatizing things he faced growing up and that he continued to face ALL in the public spotlight. He essentially lived almost all of his life in the public eye. He was affected by things most people probably easily get over…take for granted and don’t even/ever experience at all.

I’d like to see how many would be so stable and well put together in such a context of nature and circumstances.

He magically transformed on stage to ALL regardless of what one preferred musically…showing confidence and a powerful presence especially during the zenith of his career, but once he was offstage, he was said to be a completely different person. Shy, soft spoken, withdrawn, reclusive, insecure, obsessed, broken, damaged, removed, lonely and highly misunderstood and unknown to most on a very personal level. This has been said and seen by so many who were around him during his life to varying degrees. It is being said NOW. We could all see how troubled he was and increasingly became we grew up with him through media view. No doubt he became mentally ill creating a complete world or fantasy for himself.

It’s also obvious that he was very isolated and alone emotionally. He mentioned this to Uri Geller, in interviews and to other friends who spoke of him during conversations on television. He really needed help. I think we can all agree with that. He -really- needed help…and that should have been offered to him much earlier on before it became a point of no return. I can’t say how I would have been if I led his life. Even compared to other celebs, he really stood out in the immense fame he carried, regardless of the notorious edge it developed later around the 90s.

He suffered long and hard and although his talent was shared with the world as a result of his entry into entertainment so early on, it essentially cost him the possibility of having a long and healthy life emotionally and mentally.  Was he destined to become famous regardless of what path he took or that was forced upon him, or could he have led another life and turned out much differently as a person? More stable, married and with family, living in normality but recognized at most by close friends and family for his talent?

I truly believe he became asexual. Don’t think he was this way at first. I don’t think he continue to hold a true attraction to anyone on a romantic level and the few dates and relationships he had were experiments and attempts to try to normalize his life but were inevitably doomed from the start. I mean he had the potential to bed a lot of women earlier on in his career if he wanted to but he didn’t (at least of what we know) and we certainly never heard of any attractions to and pursuits of men.

I think he was intensively obsessed with children because the company of children is often untainted and non-judgmental. Children make you forget about all of your troubles, worries and the world at large. It seems he considered children his best allies and inspiration. He was fascinated and personally identified with Peter Pan. He wanted to be a child forever…and looking at his past…one can understand why. I think his emotional growth stopped somewhere earlier on in childhood. He NEVER led any semblance of a normal childhood that most of us lead or would classify as normal. I think he froze in time here and carried this with him into adulthood where it warped his perception of self and identity. Did he molest children as part of this development, feeling mentally that children were even suitable romantic interests along with platonic playmates? I honestly can’t say I am -positively- sure but I just do not believe he went that route and this is not delusion on my part or not wanting to see him as a pedophile. I accept that people can become flawed and do harm…even those we admire from early on for talent…because they are human…

but there is no and never was any hard proof. Plus I believe more in what I said further above.

Being asexual, obsessed with children and wanting to forever be young and childlike oneself, having a fixation with being genderless and raceless…is not something the world will understand, tolerate or accept from a grown black man regardless of what physical abuse he put himself through with OBVIOUS issues of body dysmorphia. He made all of the wrong choices which didn’t help to lessen the suspicions that people had about his affairs with children or of his nature overall. Again, we including myself, don’t really know the -absolute- truth but these are -my- views.

I think the comforting thing now is that he is finally in and at peace. His body and soul were obviously very tired…

Current Track Playing: “Gone Too Song” (Dangerous Album)

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Current Mood: Motivated

I wish there were more places and opportunities for adults to indulge in recess activities that they participated in as children.

I don’t know why we have to abandon these fun things as we become older. As adults, we often feel a need to “get to the gym” when we want physical activities in our lives and some of us will step out of the gym to go for walks once in awhile, but I miss these activities that I often played when younger: I truly do not believe that the activities below have to only be activities for grade school children.

Four Square
Handball
Tetherball
Kickball
Softball
Paddleball (the sport, like Racquetball)
Dodgeball
Hopscotch
Hide-and-Seek
Water Balloon Fights
Tag / Freeze Tag / Hospital
Four Corners
Jump rope  /Chinese Jump Rope (totally remember this!) / Double Dutch
Cake Walk (during special events)
Relay Racing

and much more.

I have to jog my memory for most of the other games I played as a kid.

Kids would come back in after lunch and morning recess very sweaty and tired. These games were an awesome way to work out naturally and it was pure fun. No one thought about “getting exercise” or “burning calories” or anything of the sort. It was just about getting out and enjoying ourselves out on the “blacktop”.

I definitely think this is missing in adulthood. The absence of activities like these limits us to unnatural ways of working out that often feel like monotonous, boring and tiresome obligatory chores. I think if we participated in more natural ways to be active, we’d see a great change in the way we define and fall into being fit as grownups. I certainly still like going to gym once in awhile but I really ache for very organic activities most of the time. It’s just more intuitive and I’d feel much more inspired to get out and do something physical regularly.

I also think that such games always sparked creativity and imagination. Kids would make up rules to some of these traditional childhood games or create new games period. I certainly remember I did.  LOL

For example, I made up my own techniques in handball. One technique was called “buttercup”. The hit would involve “getting” the ball at the right time after the other person hit it against the wall, and bouncing it three times with one hand before hitting it back against the wall for the other person to hit again. You’d score more points this way if the game was being based on a point system. Soon I had many other kids on the playground talking about the buttercup move. LOL It became a standard for some games settings/rules although very few knew I started it. Others created their own rules and hits too.

I would also play hours by myself with tetherball and handball, because these could and would be solitary games too. I loved every minute of this and I certainly miss it.

I think it would be awesome to start an “adult recess” club like this someday where groups of people could join up and play these games in a dedicated areas often.

I certainly feel that as adults we need to continue the glory of recess games and activities.

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Current Mood: Introspective & Motivated & Thoughtful

If you could snap your fingers and make the life of your dreams instantly appear, exactly what would that life look like? While you’re working so diligently to move forward, do you have a clear and detailed definition of where you intend to go?

An essential part of achieving what you desire is to know exactly what it is. Unfortunately, the people and events in your world often discourage and dissuade you from seriously considering your own ideas for what life at its best can be.

If you’re not diligent about exploring and clarifying your own authentic desires, the world will impose its pre-packaged, shallow and empty desires upon your life. This can leave you frustrated, discouraged and unfulfilled as you strive to work toward goals that have no real meaning for you.

On a regular basis, allow your desires to come bubbling to the surface, so you can more fully understand them and connect with them. Enjoy the fact that there are things for which you truly long, and know that there is a path to every one of them.

Let your vision of what life can be pull you consistently toward its fulfillment. When you are clear about what you seek and why, you’ll gain access to the resources and the strategies that will enable you to achieve it.

Instead of suppressing your desires or placing judgments on them, make yourself more and more familiar with their substance. Put real meaning in your life by giving life and energy to the things that mean most to you.

– Ralph Marston

My thoughts:

I had to share this. This is so very well said. I believe in all of it wholeheartedly, have expressed this truth in a variety of ways through journal entries and creative messages. These are beliefs that I personally live and feel strongly moved by.

I think everyone should live by these beliefs of authenticity for each person can then discover their own truth, path and desires.

Not an easy road to take but it is liberating when you trust in the journey of this kind of exploration.

You begin to see YOU and with each new level of growth and confidence, living in delusional becomes less and less of an option.

I especially find the last paragraph quite potent. I think this is where most people feel the power of fear strongest.

How many of us shadowbox in ways that we are unaware of? We might find, in some cases, that some of the things that evoke the strongest negative reactions (hate, violence, judgment, disgust, resentment, fear and so on) in us might be things that hold some desire or curiosity….things that, if we can become bold enough to confront with the most brutal brand of self-objective honesty, might reveal some aspect of our true nature.

Why are we so afraid of that path to freedom?

Is there true freedom in darkness and delusion? What can we see if we truly become bare to ourselves? How might our lives, beliefs and convictions change? Our desires? Our purposes for living?

Sometimes those changes might compel us to make very difficult sacrifices. In some cases, this might be a long-invested career or even a marriage or long-term partnership. The person we become might not match up to commitments we’ve made in the past because those decisions were made in darkness…while we wore masks.

This is where some people might feel the need to hold on to delusion because it’s too painful to suddenly see so much change and “loss” even if it means we find/gain our true selves in the process.

This is hard for everyone.

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Current Mood: Introspective & Motivated & Thoughtful

What is the American dream?

Of course each person defines it differently when it is defined on an individual basis, but for many I’d argue that the American dream is about attaining financial prosperity. Some people might argue that it includes other things such as family, romantic relationships, and a great network of friends. I wouldn’t disagree, but again I see the driving force of the American dream as the desire for wealth. Wealth represents comfort, security…”good living”.

Everyone wants a piece of prosperity pie. I don’t feel this is a bad thing necessarily as long as the perspective is in check, in that a person isn’t blindly driven, at all costs, by this pursuit.

Because of the economic meltdown, it seems like so many people are thinking that the American dream is out of reach…that it’s a dream that must be retired. I am witnessing this sentiment through CNN and C-SPAN news reports, various business/finance/work discussion forums and several friends and acquaintances as discussions deepen on job losses, debt, financial strain and even career refocus. Some people have been in job positions for years that are now categorically disappearing. These are people who’ve been used to specializing in a certain career role and have invested all of their time, training and experience in a specific skill set.

Not everyone has the luxury of going back to school as they deal with ongoing financial demands that they no longer can meet as efficiently as before (or in some cases at all). Not everyone knows what their next step should be once they realize the need to change their game plan. They might see that their talents and abilities are only best expressed through a specific job type. They are probably still paying off student loans in addition to car loans and credit card debt. I think the current conditions are forcing people to either at least redefine their strategy in working towards accomplishing their vision of the American dream or define it differently completely which might not include the goal of wealth anymore.

I also think many people who currently own businesses are wondering if they will be able to grow their investments as they’d hope to now that they aren’t doing so well. In fact their businesses might be very close to folding as they try to make ends meet and pay off both personal and business expenses. Some people might find themselves spending way more time working at their businesses because as a small entity, they too have laid off workers they can’t afford to finance, and as a result need to cover many of those duties and tasks on their own. Things only get worse if they are married and have families because there is less time to spend with loved ones.

People who currently work at jobs aren’t truly in control, especially now. They do realize that, depending on the agenda of the company they work for, they could become expendable at any time. Furthermore, one doesn’t build wealth through an investment of time at a 9-5 job. If that’s where <b>most</b> of one’s income comes from, they aren’t really ahead of the game and there’s not much financial leverage. That makes them even more dependent on and vulnerable to their company’s provisions. That’s not exactly a secure place to be either during an economy’s breakdown. People want security and that includes in knowing where they stand and how they are truly valued in an industry.

Some freelancers in certain industries are feeling the pinch too. They might still have work coming in, however new and regular clients in many cases have less money to pay freelancers for a project, so freelancers are having to agree to fees that are lower than what they usually charge hourly. There are also longer gaps present with getting regular work. Several friends who freelance full-time aren’t doing as well as before. Many of them live either on their own or with a roommate and express how difficult it is to continue to secure their independence. Some have had to move back home temporarily. I have one friend in particular who is contemplating moving back to the Midwest to live with her family because she can no longer afford her new apartment rent. If she doesn’t find some steady work by next week, she is going to book a flight home and have to abandon many of the things she’s got going  on here which includes her full independence. In terms of her career goals, Los Angeles is also the place for her to be, so that’s another disadvantage.

Additionally, I do wonder how many people look at celebrities now. I wonder if the cult of fascination is finally beginning to show a decrease or even result in mass disgust and disdain. Or are people clinging more tightly to “living vicariously” through celebrities by obsessing over them more? Over the years, the culture of celebrity has grown to insane proportions. The lives of celebrities have come to truly represent an obscene and hyperbolic display of the American dream.

As for myself, do I feel that my vision of the American dream has been threatened?

I guess that depends on my perspective.  I am seeing some of my plans come through slowly but surely so far and I know I will continue to have to put in full effort in the areas I am focusing on right now for growth and expansion.   As for my goals for financial wealth, well I still believe that they are possible and although things are bad for the North American economy there are still opportunities for making money.

I just need to keep up with economic news, continue to research and learn, spend wisely and continue to believe and see that there’s a demand for artistic output in entertainment both in the fields of writing and illustration.  My career goals mainly lie within those areas. I aspire to write and illustrate books, develop scripts, create and develop animation shorts, design game blueprints for developers (both casual gaming and console), sell and exhibit my artwork and create brands of my own through character designs and storytelling. All these tie into one another and they will happen in time.

If I can make good money doing what I love then I’ve managed to accomplish the gist of what I define as the American dream. I certainly include well-being and closeness of family, good health, eventually a happy stable marriage with my partner, circle of great friends, artistic enrichment and personal growth.

I guess my dream in a big picture perspective is to live a very fulfilling life where I can appreciate things and people holistically, see tremendous growth, clarity and confidence in myself overall, honor my true passions and constantly be a conduit and pursuer of inspiration.  I mean aren’t these the most important things regardless of how uniquely they apply to each person? I feel all that generally takes care of the rest. They are goals of substance. Having money alone is not going to bring any of that necessarily although it’s a possible byproduct of living your life meaningfully, authentically and to its fullest potential.

So no I don’t believe that the American dream is -dead-. I think we all have to make some changes from now on in how we go about pursuing some of our goals and defining what is important to us. I guess we always had to do this but now, there’s more challenge to really jump into this process.

2009 will be a year of seeing more focus and fruition in and from my efforts.

For everyone, 2009 should be a year of taking the right risks, expanding perspectives and experiences and applying your potential.

Live fully and life for you and most importantly, never stop believing in your dreams no matter what.

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Current Mood: Curious

A friend of mine made a comment on Facebook through her “25 Random Things” post. She mentioned something that definitely made a strong impression and that I fully agree with. It’s a great comment for reflection:

“The older I get, the more I realize that there are many paths to
happiness and a million different ways to live a life. I think
sometimes we fear those who make different choices because we need to
believe that WE have made the RIGHT choices. I think we all do the best
with what we have.” - Penny McNatt-Devine

It makes you wonder why so many people are almost <b>violently</b> opposed or dismayed when it comes to expressing or having an opinion on the way other people live. They feel like the way they live their lives is the way others should. It’s almost like they need a sense of validation for how they’ve chosen to live because it would only make sense if others chose to make the same commitments and decisions…or even believed the same things.

I think some people can become so used to living in one way that their identity, the only one they know of themselves, becomes dependent on that. If choices and life changes, then the way they recognize themselves changes too and that might be scary because then that would make them feel like they’ve failed…that they were wrong just when they thought they had life figured out or that they have no clue on how to function in the future now that everything has fallen out of familiarity.

We can apply this to so many examples…especially the ones involving religious, political, homophobic and racial fanatics…to name a few.

I do feel a lot of the grandstanding in this context comes from people being dissatisfied with how they live or not wanting to be challenged to reconsider or evaluate their own life choices and beliefs. We all, either at some point or to some degree, wanted/want the security of knowing that we were/are making the right decisions or that the way we see things is the “correct” way. So we look for ways that we can validate that…validate ourselves.

I also don’t think people are always aware of the ways in which they seek validation. It might be hard to notice or we might think that whatever we do in a given context is based on authentic convictions or beliefs…when it’s all a metaphor for something deeper that we seek or feel that is missing. If anyone here has read T. C. Boyle’s “Carnal Knowledge”…this is a perfect example.

This is why I have an interest in occasionally taking a deep look at the things I feel strongly about. Are they really true passions? Are they really things that I feel truly represent me? Are they really things that I want to do in life or beliefs that I want to live by? Are certain disciplines or restrictions that I place on myself necessary or meaningful? What would my life be like if I didn’t let some fears dictate how it was lived? What can i do to live more in courage rather than fear? Why do I feel so tied to certain aspects of my identity?

I ask myself questions like that often. It’s not always a comfortable process…but I’d rather ask these questions than not. I don’t think I’ll be able to answer them all in <i>total theory</i>. To answer some more substantially, I will have to gain more experiences in life and let resulting knowledge guide me in seeing further. I think I will have to continue being willing to “dance with chaos” and find a acceptance in that, knowing that change is the only constant thing.

I also think, as the quote implies, that we never ask ourselves if we could be happy living life in more than one way. We often feel that is the one golden path to happiness or whatever happiness means to us. We are often too scared or fearful to find out what other paths could provide for us. Sometimes we are forced to see another way of living due to circumstances or unexpected events. Not everyone does well in that event…some people continue to try to hold on to their old way of seeing and doing things because that’s all they know and that’s what they’ve based security and identity on.

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Current Mood: Motivated

Historically the muses are typically regarded as nine young goddesses of inspiration who personify and embody the arts, poetry and sciences. They were entities of song and grace that inspired people to exert their best efforts and live to their fullest potential. Additionally, they engendered harmony, prosperity and friendships.

What would it mean to become a muse in today’s time? Do you have a desire to become a muse of any sort? If so, what kind of muse would you be? How do you normally find yourself inspiring others? How do you purposefully like to inspire others? My belief is that both men and women can be muses, muses can be of any age and muses can possess a number of visual impressions. The stereotype is that muses look like flawless beauties. I think instead muses possess a unique beauty of spirit; a brand of individuality that is magnetic. This might make an impression upon his/her looks or it might at first not be so aesthetically obvious but would be something that people FEEL when they come into contact with him/her.

When I mention a modern day muse, I very much mean in a real sense. Not paranormally. I also think there are muse qualities in all of us, but my focus is more in being a muse in awareness…in a way that is organically asserted and confidently activated.

I’ve thought about this for some time, but I’d like to consider myself a muse of sorts and I’d like to be more confidently and actively. I think in asserting yourself this way, you as the muse realize, that by natural rule, living as a muse incites more passionate living.

Unbridled passionate living.

I also think a modern day muse feeds off of inspiration in many ways too. They don’t just inspire others. Inspiration becomes a fuel of sorts, in both directions. So when a muse ceases to find inspiration and to create or embody it in some manner, the muse identity “dies”.

I’ve exercised my muse powers through Meetup.com recently. I started a group for exercise and fitness which targets women who are curvy, plus-sized and/or plump. I speak to an audience of women who are happy about and find beauty in being thicker and rubenesque in stature but would like to tone up and participate in regular exercise activity so that our fitness levels are heightened as curvy women. Our goal is not to be thin but to be healthy. This inspires a great many of women to redefine beauty for themselves and to see their own loveliness through and through.

Mingling with others, sending messages and speaking up is important in cultivating muse power and spirit. Again the aim of a muse is to live passionately, embrace living and embody inspiration.

How do you wish to do this? It can be done in so many ways:

• Join or start a new group based on unique interests, desires and goals
• Cultivate your own sense of style or bring it out again in full vigor
• Explore new ideas and thoughts; challenge old ones
• Define why you are beautiful in your own way apart from what society dictates and begin living in this newfound sense of pride
• Champion a new or long-abandoned cause
• Find a way to help someone realize their potential, their dreams or their value
• Do something new and different each day
• Read, listen to and see curious books, music and film respectively
• Try a brand new cuisine
• Research different lifestyles and viewpoints
• Do something you’ve always done the same in a completely new way
• Strike up a conversation with a random stranger and ask them thoughtful questions
• Find ways you can make society better, more rewarding and interesting
• Invent something or improve upon an old convention

Be more hands on:

We are a society that is very much out of touch with our instincts. We don’t have to use and sharpen then. We live in an automated, highly technical and ever-increasing digital world. I don’t put down modern and technical conventions as they have their own appealing qualities, I just think we are greatly handicapped by them through our own ignorance and lack of exploration and awareness.

So how can we really be muses of anything?

How can we really appreciate anything?

How can we really understand and FEEL?

I think it’s important to keep old traditions alive because make US feel alive. Our senses remain sharp, aware and functioning. Never at a loss. Never dull.

Rather than go out to eat or buy microwave food, cook sometimes from SCRATCH or learn how to for a particular recipe. The meal will be that much more appreciated. I would even say growing one’s own vegetables and fruits gives a different sense of appreciation too. I wonder how many people would consume as much meat as they did if they had to hunt and prepare it themselves.

Rather than typing a letter why not write one. A LONG one…and do it often. Why not a short story or *gasp* a novel?

Instead of drawing something on the computer, why not get the paints, charcoals, pastels, markers, pens or conte out to draw? G further and maybe create and stretch your own canvas, make your own brushes, make and mix your own paints just to see what it feels like? Use natural objects as brushes such as twigs, leaves, flower petals, and hands.

Why not learn how to play an instrument or take some voice lessons for fun to get a different appreciation for music and singing? Even just reading about the history of music can change one’s perspective.

Rather than renting a movie for a particular title, why not go read the book?
Rather than seeing a movie, why not go see a theatre production with live actors and music?

Rather than reading about a particular culture, country or city, why not plan a trip someday to visit that region to get a real sense of the area? Learn the language?

Why not look up some craft projects and get busy with them and get your hands dirty? Try to make an article of clothing for yourself, a piece of jewelry, your own sculpture or piece of dish ware or a bath and beauty accessory (creams, lotions, soap, shampoo, perfume)? Include stuff like making your own butter, cheese, wine, spread, jam, jelly or oil?

You get the picture. I love stuff like this. It is important to hone desires for these things and to find ways to incorporate these types of activities and a quality of curiosity into your daily living. Make them a part of your life; necessary, natural and therapeutic rituals to fully activate your muse power and spirit.

Upon further thought, embracing yourself as a muse also inspires more love and appreciation for self. You really start to admire your own brand of beauty in and out and acknowledge how valuable it is in its own right…what it can do, what it means and how it can inspire and compel many.

So my recommendation is to begin embracing yourself as a muse, in the ways it best unleashes and suits the true you regardless of age, gender, sexuality, appearance and so on.

No need to wait.

Begin now. See and explore your beauty in all its glory and OWN and USE it.

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Current Mood: Thoughtful

Interest In Dieting Slims Down

This is pretty much the “panacea”…it’s been said time and time again but it’s hard to listen with all of the dazzling advertisements that promise to offer quick-fix solutions to “America’s Weight Problem”. Plus we all want to be “stars”…it’s part of the competitive society we live in and the effects of extreme on-going industrialism. Competition in -every- way. The best of the best…so to speak.

But we should focus more on lifestyle efficiency, eating in moderation and being in good health…and yes being able to enjoy ourselves once in awhile with food without looking at it as a sign of weakness and lack of control.

If we get an A or B on our “health report cards” during doctor visit check-ups and all of our “vitals” (blood sugar, blood pressure and the like) are in good standing and we get regular activity weekly, then we should be fine…given that one isn’t in poor health standing already and needs extra special health care regimens.

I also think our fixation with being as hard, lean and thin as possible should be dropped. Of course easier said than done. Why is that the goal? What’s wrong with being at least an average size or even a little bit plump?

Everyone’s body is different so some people are going to be naturally thin…and some should pack on less weight for their bone structure and genetics, however for most of us, our desire to look like Olympic athletes in training is ridiculous but the etiology of those obsessions runs deep and it might even have to do with the way our economy functions and the way it is structured. Since the economy is experiencing hard times in the US right now, we might likely see a subtle shift in aesthetic goals and standards to reflect those changes. I certainly have my theories on this…

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Current Mood: Introspective

I just finished reading a thought-provoking article on relationships and marriage at BlogHer. The blogger, at her site Everyday Goddess, stated that she believes that there should be a two-year rule for long-term dating before marriage. Basically, in two years, a couple should know whether or not they want to commit to one another in marriage.

I am inclined to agree with this, especially as one gets older but I also feel there are some exceptions to this rule. There are exceptions because some people might be dealing with several relationship delays. I responded to this entry by zeroing in on long-distance relationships.

I will write an entry for my thoughts on long-distance relationships and whether or not I think “they can work” since that is a frequent and hotly debated topic online but my response was more about how long-distance relationships were exceptions to the 2 year rule.

Although all relationships require a couple to get to know one another in layers, long-distance relationships  involve a few more layers and some different ones. There’s getting to know your partner on a day-to-day basis and getting to know your partner through distance. In the latter, a couple must implement more effort,frequent travel arrangements, directness and creativity than usual in getting mutually familiarized. It doesn’t replace day-to-day bonding, but you can still learn quite a bit and know your partner.

Anyway, this was my response:

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Current Mood: Introspective

Perhaps the trend isn’t so new in certain cultures, in some older generations and cases of estranged relationships between two people who stay married on paper and still live together, but in North America overall the trend of couples, living together either in marriage or a long-term partnership, maintaining separate bedrooms and bathrooms is steadily on the rise.

There are even marriage couples who are looking into buying separate houses, condos and apartment. The claim is that maintaining a good deal of personal space keeps a relationship healthy, symbiotic and enduring.

I am not sure what I think about this solidly. I know being in a long-term relationship (for two years now) with my fiancé, who lives in Canada while I live in the US, taints my opinion of maintaining major separate living conditions. The last thing I’d want to do, after the distance is finally gone between us, is to continue to keep that factor going.

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